You sound to me like a very good friend. That your friends, however many they are, are very lucky to have you.
I often wonder, like Yanagihara, why it has been harder to find a best friend that an ideal spouse. Shouldn’t it be easier? We don’t have to live together or be sexually compatible or co-sign a mortgage. So why does deep, enduring platonic love seem so much harder to cultivate — at least for me — than non-platonic love?
Why do I consistently feel like the one willing to give more to a friendship than I get out of it? Surely, it must be something about me?
I loved this line enough to jot it down in my journal: “Friendship, at its core, is about choosing each other—again and again.”
Thanks, David! I always appreciate your thoughtful comments and I feel that so much. I think that’s part of the challenge of adult friendships- how to navigate when there’s an imbalance or when it doesn’t feel mutual. I’m learning (and accepting) that friendship is always changing shape and that is okay too.
Love sending voice notes! I have maintained an international friendship with a really good friend of mine (we met virtually during the pandemic) and it's all due to voice notes. We didn't even meet in person until 2 years later when she flew out to see me.
You sound to me like a very good friend. That your friends, however many they are, are very lucky to have you.
I often wonder, like Yanagihara, why it has been harder to find a best friend that an ideal spouse. Shouldn’t it be easier? We don’t have to live together or be sexually compatible or co-sign a mortgage. So why does deep, enduring platonic love seem so much harder to cultivate — at least for me — than non-platonic love?
Why do I consistently feel like the one willing to give more to a friendship than I get out of it? Surely, it must be something about me?
I loved this line enough to jot it down in my journal: “Friendship, at its core, is about choosing each other—again and again.”
Thanks, David! I always appreciate your thoughtful comments and I feel that so much. I think that’s part of the challenge of adult friendships- how to navigate when there’s an imbalance or when it doesn’t feel mutual. I’m learning (and accepting) that friendship is always changing shape and that is okay too.
beautifully written! I can tell how much of a good friend, and how much you cherish your friends, from this post ❤️
Aww. Thank you so much for reading!
Love sending voice notes! I have maintained an international friendship with a really good friend of mine (we met virtually during the pandemic) and it's all due to voice notes. We didn't even meet in person until 2 years later when she flew out to see me.
I love this!
as always, this was a great read. i love how you added a list of ways you’re nurturing your friendships. i’m definitely going to use.
Aw that makes me :)