Our Obsession with Beauty

Rethinking beauty

There’s something about spring that brings me so much joy. It feels like a reset, a slow, gentle waking up. I love it. Naturally, I’ve been deep in my annual ritual of cleaning out my closets, dusting off shelves, and finding forgotten things stuffed in corners. I used to think of spring cleaning as a cliché, but it’s become an essential practice in clearing out the old and making room for what’s to come each year.

Somewhere between the sweaters I haven’t worn in years and the unused jewelry that once felt necessary, I realized I’ve somehow managed to go months without buying anything new. Not as an intentional challenge, just something that happened. An unplanned no-buy of sorts. I’ve always tried to be mindful of my consumption habits, but I still find myself facing the reality of it, wondering: How much of this was bought in a moment of wanting to feel better… more beautiful? How many of these things did I acquire because I believed they’d change something deeper in me?

Beauty is such a slippery thing. We spend so much time trying to possess and perfect it that we forget to ask where that desire comes from. Across history and cultures, beauty has always been something chased and captured. We have shaped our lives around the pursuit and preservation of beauty. We want to be surrounded by it, to hold onto it, to be it. Entire industries have thrived on the idea that beauty must be attained, that we can make ourselves more worthy.

And, somewhere along the way, we’ve turned beauty into a prize—something to be earned, perfected, and possessed. The perfect body, the curated home, the flawless picture. As if beauty is a thing we can grip tightly enough to keep from slipping away. We scroll through feeds of people online who seem effortlessly radiant and lives that appear untouched by the “messiness.” I’m guilty of this too and of mostly sharing the most polished moments online. It’s tempting to curate our lives in a way that masks the clutter or chaos.

But beauty is also real (and often tangled up together with imperfection). Beauty stirs awe. It has the power to make us feel and pull us out of ourselves and into the moment. We consume beauty but it consumes us too. In it’s truest form, beauty has nothing to do with vanity, it’s about presence and about noticing.

Lately, I’ve been struck by how beauty often reveals itself in the most fleeting and unguarded moments (including the chaos). Like the warmth of a stranger’s kindness on a not-so-great day, an imperfect dish that still tastes like comfort, a newfound closeness with an old acquaintance. These moments that can’t be collected or curated, or even captured; they simply exist and remind us that beauty isn’t something to own but to be experienced.

A reminder:

Be gentle with yourself. So much of what we see online tries to convince us that if we just buy and chase, we’ll finally reach some imagined ideal. I hope you are able to find small ways to reclaim the truth that beauty doesn’t need to be perfect to be experienced or enough because embracing the uniqueness of who you are is an act of quiet resistance.

A few ways I’ve been trying to quiet the noise lately:

• Unfollow or unsubscribe to accounts that constantly push consumption¹

• Curate a folder of things that help me feel grounded (a playlist, favorite essays, pictures)

• Set phone-free moments in my day

Lastly, an invitation:

Take a moment to notice something beautiful around you. Not to capture it, but simply to observe. What small, unpolished, overlooked thing catches your eye?

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• What You Are Looking For Is in the Library by Michiko Aoyama and Alison Watts (translator)—a heart warming read and a beautiful reminder of the quiet power of community and curiosity

• Our Interfaces Have Lost Their Senses—an interactive and thoughtful reflection on the evolution of digital interfaces (highly recommend viewing on a desktop)

• Better Conversations from On Being—on fostering meaningful and authentic dialogue

• The Art of the Tea Tray—a cozy YouTube video on a simple and intentional ritual

• This screenshot from Fariha Róisín’s Instagram:

A Full Circle will always be free, but if you’d like to support further, I welcome you to buy me a coffee or add a book to my shelf!

Find me on Instagram and TikTok

1. I will admit that I can’t resist entering a good giveaway when I see one