The best thing about getting older...

we have vilified the word "aging"

I started writing this piece at the end of March and…well yeah, here we are…in May June. I’ve been feeling disconnected with my creativity and I know I’m not alone with feeling this way—we are never really alone, right? Nonetheless I am feeling an immense amount of gratitude for this season of life.

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Earlier this year, I shared a simple thought:

It was quite frankly a random thought that came to me in the moment and recently, I found myself ruminating on the idea of aging. Ironically when I started writing this in March I came across a podcast episode by Feel Better, Live More with Dr. Rangan Chatterjee featuring Dr Gabor Maté where they talk through the five regrets of the dying. It’s a beautiful conversation that touches on a variety of topics aside from aging like encouraging children to express their emotions, happiness, forgiveness, and the connection between emotions and physical health.

As a little girl, I often remember daydreaming of the day I would turn 25. I didn’t give much thought or care for any age before that. I’m not exactly sure what I thought 25 would be like, actually. I envisioned it to be some sort of magical threshold of adulthood, where I would have everything figured out, and that I would feel and look my best.

Since reaching this age, I find myself struck by how swiftly time has passed. My current reality has been challenging my earlier perceptions and I am constantly being reminded to embrace the present moment and how quickly life seems to pass by. Along with this, I’ve found a newfound appreciation for the all the past versions of myself.

Twenties are a confusing age period (I am aware this is not a groundbreaking realization). Stray too far from embracing wildness, and you risk overlooking the age of liberation. Yet, it’s a balancing act; a need for responsibility and planning for your future simultaneously…because if you veer too off course, you’ll find yourself labeled as lacking in seriousness.

Societal norms and culturally inherited limiting beliefs influence our perception of aging in more negative ways than not. Aging is often portrayed as a burden to be feared. From our youth, we hear our older relatives make frequent comments saying things like, "look at my grays, I’m getting so old” or “enjoy your 20s, it’s all downhill from there.” More specifically, the fear of aging that society—the patriarchy, has brainwashed women to feel and the way older women are treated is a deep dive for another day…

I can understand the fear and empathize with those who fear at the thought of growing older. Along with the wisdom and experience that comes with aging, many also experience some level of suffering or discomfort.

Sometimes, we have little control over the things that happen to us. What we do have control over is our self-perception. My belief is that if you grow up preparing yourself for the aging process as if it will be a burden, that is exactly how it will feel. And, I’ve observed, through the experiences of those around me, that fulfillment doesn’t have a timeline. 25 is not the pinnacle of life. Neither is 40, 55, 60, nor 75.

With that said, I’ve decided that I will no longer view aging as a burden or something to fear (it is a natural process of the mind and body!!) and release the idea that life is “over” after your 20’s…

I often ponder, what if our 20s are meant to go by fast? I think about the saying that time flies when you’re having fun. So, when we’re enjoying ourselves, time seems to slip away—which would mean, my 20’s aren’t slipping away after all; I’m simply having fun, right!?

New York City, June 24, 2023

I no longer deny the gift of aging. I honor it.

As someone who is approaching their “late 20s”, I’m learning that I actually love growing older and finding unexpected little joys in the subtle nuances of aging. Each year, I unravel new parts of myself and relish in the simple pleasures of knowing what brings me comfort—the taste of my favorite brand of chips, the realization of what I love most about the clothes I select, the type of pillows I prefer to sleep on, etc.

But it’s not just the tangible things and preferences. There’s something comforting in understanding the complexities of my emotions and understanding why I reacted the way I did when faced with an unexpected experience. Growing older means gaining appreciation for past mistakes and unraveling the mysteries of all the things that had to happen and come together to bring to the present moment.

I find comfort in knowing that the journey of self-discovery and returning to self is endless and has no bounds.

It’s a reminder that countless experiences will continue to add richness to my existence, and that brings me peace.

-Amrita

Let’s keep the conversation flowing

🙇🏽‍♀️ Have you experienced a shift in perspective on aging over the years? If so, what sparked that change?

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